Let There Be Light, and a Contest!

I love my apartment, but one feature that I have never been keen on was the lack of an overhead light in the living room. There was a ceiling fan, but no light. I have three lamps and usually leave the kitchen light on to supplement. But no more. Oh no. My smart, and handy boyfriend Scott has just installed a ceiling fan light for me and let me tell you-- the light is lovely. I am bathing in it right now. I didn't even know you could do this! But he just waltzed over to Home Depot and within a few minutes had wired things, reattached parts and had transformed my living room forever. I love it!

In other news, for those of you counting, this is my 200th post! How appropriate, or at least cheesy, that the 200th post of Rembrandt's Light would be about light (and I didn't even plan it!). To commemorate, I am offering a contest! Leave a comment with your favorite quote having to do with light. On February 15th, I will put everyone who commented into a drawing and I will send the winner their choice of either 1) my favorite book, And There was Light by Jacques Lusseryan or 2) a cool book on Rembrandt!*

*If by some chance you don't care for these two prizes, and you win, we could work something else out-- please enter anyway!

Insomnia 102, or Hugh Dancy is Hot

Attention all insomniacs out there. I'm afraid I have some bad news. I am sorry to have to report that Matlock reruns do not air on the weekends at the usual 3am time slot. I personally was, to my own chagrin, slightly disappointed. I only get 5 channels, so choices are limited as it is.

Luckily I ran across a cheesy movie with Romola Garai (who you might remember from Daniel Deronda, and if you don't, you should check it out now, in fact I should be watching it now-- I own it after all. And it has Hugh Dancy. And Hugh Dancy is hot. Not as hot as my boyfriend, of course. But still hot.)

At any rate, I thought to myself-- this movie sure is alot like Dirty Dancing except set in Cuba. Oh how perceptive I can be, even at 3:42 in the morning. I looked it up and there was the title: Dirty Dancing, Havana Nights. All I can hope for now is that the line, "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" is thrown in at the triumphant end.

As I've said before, there are little treasures out there for insomniacs, even when Matlock and local community college tele-courses aren't airing, and the infomercials aren't quite as mockable as usual. The only down side tonight is that I am probably going to fall asleep before the end of this riveting dancing movie.

If You're Drinkin', We Ain't Kissin'

I got this in a forward so I don't know its original location or authentication. It is purportedly from 1919, just before prohibition was enacted in the U.S. in 1920. Real or not--- it's a classic in my book. Think long and hard boys before you pick up that liquor bottle!
Thanks to Bryan for the forward!!!

When Things get Tough, the Tough Buy a Hello Kitty Toaster

It was on sale for $9.95 at Target.

It imprints a Hello Kitty face on your toast.

I'd joked about it for so long how could I pass it up?

Did I mention it was only $9.95?

Last week was a tough week.

Comedy in the Twilight

I don't have anything I choose to personally post on this pop culture phenomenon, but no matter if you love the book series/movie with all of your soul OR if you hate it with a deep and everlasting passion, you still might enjoy these two comedic takes on the Stephanie Myers hit.

A Practical Husband's Guide to Raving Myerism

Eric Snider's Rejected Twilight Screenplay

**I must give credit to Heather for introducing the Snider article to me!**

The Century Makes the Difference

Where Have All the Bathrobes Gone?

I just saw a new product on tv. Yes, I am watching tv too late at night. Again. But unlike last week (when I was pretty sure that Turbo Jam with the new Turbo Jam gloves was the solution to all my problems. ever.), I was awake enough to notice a problem in the product I was viewing. The product I am speaking of is The Snuggie.

First off, let's just start with the name. Maybe it was only small-town-Utah-- but when I was a kid, "a snuggie" was another word for "a wedgie". The word could make small children giggle and snort on any playground that I knew of. It was not something you wanted or would ever pay $19.95 plus shipping and handling for, I tell you what.

Secondly, look at this thing. Anyone else thinking they robbed a monestery sewing room for patterns and just changed out the fabric for fleece? Monks are in a state of self denial as far as I understand, not bucking for fashion awards.

And finally, really people, are you kidding me? Who wears these things? I am potentially the most cold-blooded mammal walking the planet today, and I can think of several much more practical and less humiliating ways to keep warm (especially for men and all people under the age of 90).

The moral of the story: Midnight is not remotely late enough to be marketing such a ridiculous product. Hit me up again at 4 and I'll probably buy it and wear it while I do Turbo Jam-- if the Turbo Jam gloves increase weight loss, imagine what the Snuggie can do!

Officer Skippy's New Year Resolution

It is the New Year. 2009. Time for making goals and resolutions for self improvement and a better year ahead. I would just like to tell you a little inspirational story about Officer Skippy* in Panguitch, Utah and his 2009 New Year resolution.

We first learned of Officer Skippy's resolution on January 2nd when he was kind enough to pull us over for a chat. (I didn't happen to be driving at the time, but if I had the same results would have ensued due to my slightly heavy foot). He informed us that we had been going 75 in a 65 but that when he flipped around behind us he clocked us at 78. He wrote up a ticket and even gave us an envelope in which to send in our contribution to the county. The following conversation then took place:

Officer Skippy: I've marked you down for the 13mph.

Scott: Oh, you couldn't give me the 10 mph over, huh? It was pretty close...

Officer Skippy: No, I don't do that anymore. I've made a New Year resolution to give people exactly what I clock them at. I'm trying to get fewer people to contest the tickets. I'm going to see if it results in me going to court less.

Scott: Okay...

Officer Skippy: You folks have a good day.

You have a good day Officer Skippy! Is anyone else picking up on the logical flaws in Skippy's New Year resolution? If someone is going to fight a ticket, they are going to fight it, but my guess is that if you give someone a break it would actually decrease the number of people contesting tickets. If you are a jerk about things you might find more people taking you to court. I have a theory that Officer Skippy's real New Year resolution is to stick it to as many people with out of state plates who come through Panguitch because they are the people who are not going to bother to come back to contest the ticket.

In any case, may the New Year bring Officer Skippy many dates in court. And, to my readers, be sure to watch your speedometer as you travel through Panguitch lest you become the latest victim of his resolutions!

* This may or may not be the officer's real name-- but I like it better!