Thank You, Miss

I'd like to tell you a story about when I was in China, hanging out in the dorm lobby with some other students in the program.  This story is not about about the wonders of experiencing a new culture, the confusion/awe/curiosity I felt when I realized they sold Blueberry Potato Chips at the convenience store down the street, or even a clever anecdote about my mispronouncing a Chinese word and a pleasant relationship being struck up with a kiosk vendor who became my Kung Fu mentor while there. (In the interest of full disclosure I should state that I mispronounce all Chinese words and never had a Kung Fu mentor.)  This story is about a dumb kid from the US who made a comment that showed his dumbness and how I let it get to me.  It is also about a Sonic employee who today, in an unrelated incident, made me feel better.

You may remember a post I wrote last year about being asked if my daughters were going to prom.  If not, feel free to take a little looksie here. That story is a good tie-in to what you are about to read.  And now, back to China: We were joking around and I made a mockingly matronly comment, and another student, who I will call Herbert (because it is a little bit of an odd name and I wish it was his name, instead of Jason), said "Thanks, Mom!".  I laughed and said, "Never call me 'Mom'!  I am not remotely old enough to be your mother!"  At this point, in complete earnestness and wonderment Herbert said, "You're not?"

I would like to point out here, that while Herbert was an undergraduate, and I a doctoral student, the difference in our respective ages was six years.  Six. Years. Other students sitting around jumped in to tell Herbert of his faux pas and I imagine: a) make me feel better and b) show that they would never make that faux pas even if I looked like I was 63.  It made me angry though and I held a slight bit of contempt inside for Herbert from then on.  Mature? No.  Helpful? No.  Deserved?  Yes.  (Okay, fine. No!  But I was a little miffed!).  What exactly am I doing wrong that makes people think I look so old!!

As a redeeming tale, however, at Sonic today, the teenage girl who gave me my change said "Thank you, miss."  Did you catch that? "Miss."  Not "ma'am."  A teenager called me "miss."  Generally I get called "ma'am" at Sonic, and it doesn't bother me.  If you are 15 and your parents just signed off for you to work after school in your first-real-job-ever at the local Sonic, I am a "ma'am" to you.  People who are 20 are "ma'am" to you. So to be called "miss" in this situation was new and it made me happy.  But then I started to wonder about it.  Why would she call me "miss"?  Was it a new store policy?  Did I look younger because I wasn't wearing make-up or contacts?  Or did she just surmise that no adult person would honestly order a 44oz diet Dr. Pepper and a corn dog as lunch?

Yeah.  I guess it is probably that last one. I think I'll go back on Monday and do it again.